Ebeth's Xanga

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 01:06:12 GMT

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 19:07:41 GMT

Jinkies, Scooby. This girl has found a clue...she's onto something.

I miss a smooth door. Hmmm....

Dancing non-stop for twenty minutes makes me sweat profusely.

Huntington floods extremely easily. It's almost completely ridiculous.

Elderly men in Altimas are assholes.

Pancakes and chocolate make me a bit on the sick side.

Car payments are as fun as chewing on rocks.

Large Pink Bouncing balls at Wal*Mart are not safe for intoxicated men.

Black Moors with one large eye apparently cry one large tear.

Men standing in top hats and trenchcoats with long grey stranded hair are not real.

Dog Toys are very expensive.

Shopping carts being lodged at cars will scratch the paint.

Beagles tend to interrupt important events.

Stompin' in your air force ones in no longer seen as "cool".

Girls wearing spandex dresses, booty shorts, etc. should not be allowed to go into public.

Ben Harper does a wonder for your emotions.

I'm not the one whos tattooed on his arm.

People on the rebound are more prone to becoming whores in a short period of time.

Drunk older women should not go to Stonewall.

This is true.

"So many people to love in my life...
Why do I worry about one?
But you put the happy in my ness
You put the good times into my fun.
And its so hard to do and so easy to say
But sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away... walk away"

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 16:07:30 GMT

Waking up from this nightmare.
How's your life? What's it like there?
Is it all that you wanted to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is...

So I've stumbled out of my depression I was in there for a while, and now have moved on to a more contemplative state. It hurts remembering all the times with people I'll never talk to again. What hurts even more, though, is the daily constant reminders that they're gone. Whether it be a song on the radio, a movie clip, or something in my room that once belonged to someone else, something is always held over my head. Not that I am longing to forget, but I am completely happy with the thought of moving on, I just haven't realized how to do that yet. Painting my fingernails however is a good start. People who have actually conversed with me on this topic would know why.

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely and no ones around
Know that I'll catch you when you're falling down

I've come to terms with the fact that I can say, "He/she's someone I use to know." And honestly, I love that feeling.

Take you away from that empty apartment
We'll stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you loved me You'll say
It's okay

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 01:19:32 GMT

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 14:13:31 GMT

I guess I'll never be what I want to be and especially not what people want me to be.
I've always been who I am and proud of it-not so much anymore.
Why?
Couldn't tell you.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 04:50:40 GMT

Okay, so I'm bored and trying to take my mind off things and this is how it's going down.
Random Facts of Me...

10 things I can't live without:
1. My friends
2. My family
3. Money (not materialistic just the truth)
4. My cell phone (its my only way of communicating really)
5. Love
6. Jewelry
7. Sunglasses
8. Birkenstocks (They are amazingly comfortable)z
9. My photo Albums
10. Propel H2O

9 of my favorite places to go:
1. Tennessee
2. The Beach
3. Katies
4. Huntington
5. O'Charleys
6. Grayson Lake
7. Starbucks
8. CJ Maggies
9. Factory Outlet Malls

8 obsessions:
1. Weight
2. The Beatles
3. Jack Nicholson
4. The Exorcist
5. Penne Pasta and Parmesan Cheese ...mmmm
6. Cheese Fries
7. OP Perfume
8. Altizer

7 random things in my room:
1. Beatles Blanket
2. Huge Care Bears
3. A "Shining" Poster
4. A Voodoo Kit
5. Play-Doh creations
6. A collage of Trip Fontaine from "The Virgin Suicides"
7. A balloon pump

6 items I waste my money on:
1. Cigarettes
2. Sit-Down Restuarant food
3. Play-Doh
4. Gummi-Bears
5. Sunglasses
6. Lip Gloss

5 terrifying things:
1. Clowns
2. Rabbits
3. Bridges
4. Little Childrens laughter
5. Hell

4 ways to piss me off:
1. Tell me I look "healthy"
2. Be rude to my parents
3. Be two-faced
4. Say "GD"

3 things I miss:
1. Summer night basement parties
2. Hay field Spotlight
3. Girly Nights

2 hobbies:
1. Taking Pictures
2. Coloring

1 of my favorite memories:
Probably my first time at Marleys or being smashed at Evans.

Okay so I was completely bored. But now, you know a bit more about me. Like you couldn't have figured this out on your own, but hell just thought I'd help you out. Alright time to actually do something constructive...yeahhhhhh right.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE HAGERMAN

OUT

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 03:06:08 GMT

You will never know.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 18:09:35 GMT

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 17:03:02 GMT

So I need about $1,000 quick style. How am I going to do that? I just don't know.
I may take up a second job.
Sounds like a plan.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 05:38:24 GMT

Changes

(Music by Arnold, Roberts & Harrell)

I'm not supposed to be scared of anything,
But I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted
And nobody understands (how I feel)

I'm tryin' hard to breathe now,
But there's no air in my lungs.
There's no one here to talk to
And the pain inside is making me numb.

I try to hold this under control,
They can't help me, cause no one knows.

Now I'm goin' through changes, changes.
God, I feel so frustrated lately.
When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm goin' through changes, changes

Feelin' weak and weary
Walkin' through this world alone
Everything they say every word of it
Cuts me to the bone, (and I bleed)

I've got something to say
But now I've got nowhere to turn
It feels like I've been buried
Underneath all the weight of the world.

I try to hold this under control,
They can't help me, cause no one knows.
Now I'm goin through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm goin' through changes, changes

I'm blind and shakin', bound and breakin'
I hope I'll make it, through all these changes.

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God I feel so frustrated, lately
When I get suffocated, save me.
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it.

But I'm going through changes, changes.
God I feel so frustrated, lately.
And I get suffocated, I hate this.
But I'm going through changes, changes.

For all of you who I have not lost contact with and know about my struggling and hospitalization, I guess this is just a perfect fit for what is going on now, eh?
It hurts so bad to be struggling with this and noone at all understands. I don't care if you think you have been there...this 6 year struggle is becoming redundant. As tired as I am and it makes me, I just can't seem to completely let go.
I will get back to my "normal" self. It is just going to take some time along with alot of patience.
Thanks to all who have been there through either the entire time or parts of it. You are what keeps me alive.